17, SPM an he found himself in writing everytime the papers and the pens meet

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Monday, 16 February 2015 | 0 Comments

hi hello yow
and assalamualaikum

so it crossed my mind lately bila nak ASSPM ni that I have grown up so much . until this point , I can't believe myself that I'm actually 17 and leaving my school year . Im surely will miss that a lot .

for me , every second of school is just so precious and gold . i couldnt imagine myself without friends around , what would it be or what would I be now . still fresh in my mind , when im about to walk alam persekolahan , standard 1 .

i have no friends at all because of , i was in melaka when im having my sweet kindergarden phase . so when im back to Tapah , I dont have any local friends to be played with , so I just sit with my aunt , quietly , scaredly  . My opah wasnt there at that time , because she is in Mekah , doing her haji . So I independently bought my first meal at canteen for the first freaking day .

Luckily , I never poop myself in the class , or even terkencing dalam kelas , at all . hahahhahahhahahahhahahhaa ok . And that moment , I met a lot of new friends ,I know that every humans has their own weird attitude that I need to handle , so they can handle mine too . I met bestfriends there that now are still with me and some of them just drifting apart just because got into a new school like mrsm or sbp or they just went away without any goodbye or warn .

and sekolah menengah , where i got my puberty and pimples start to grow up well . the point when i want to try all the new things . i start questioning myself if that rokok is sedap or cool so thats why people take that . i start to public myself to people on facebook . when i think the more likes you get on facebook,the more cooler you're ". when i change my  hairstyle every single day so people can call me stylish . and fall in love , be in the relationship and waste my money just to buy cadburry and topup and treat her and so a lot many more .

i was in a religion school when i was F1 . and I discovered myself,I could memorize those surah and actually Im pretty cool in it . and whats even odder , when i look at myself as a depress kids . i found that i was so odd weird rare and all other stuff that I can't tell you . I'm so not like other poeple , my imagination is weird and different and I annoyed a lot of people around me but they dont know that I really love them ?

the older I get , the more bittersweet I know about myself , about life and about the rules that we must follow that we dont like . I start to drift apart from God , and rarely talk to Him . But when I was in tragic problems , I will find him at the first place , I would cry on sejadah and beg him for help . and it just so me , and it just so us .

We always forget Him at the first place but when problems come , we seek and beg Him . but what makes me more sad is , I know I would find him but why do I leave him as my problems is solved .

and a lot of incredibles things happened past this 2 years and a  few months to go before SPM and i hope I can end my senior year happily with my friends , so it will be the most beautiful things ever happen in my life so I can tell to my kids on fine day .

it just me or the wind
i feel like the time is ticking anti-clockwise
bringing me back to the old days
where I found myself

it just me or the moon
is just so bright tonight
its already june
that we're holding for the last light

it just me or them
that i really miss all the memories
i feel so empty
to the song centuries